Day 12 - Nourish

I didn't know what to write exactly for this prompt. I guess I could talk about what foods I like, but that just sounded so boring. So instead, I looked up the word “nourish” in the dictionary (that is, if you count Google as a dictionary) and the definition reads – “provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition”

Necessary…what is it that I find necessary to nourish my heart, mind, and soul? Aside from the basics of food and sleep, I have learned that something that nourishes me is interacting with others. And by others, I mean people other than my Littles at home. I love connecting with people. It almost gives me a little bit of a rush. Finding common ground with a person is something I search for. To be able to laugh, agree/disagree, talk about likes/dislikes, or even just shoot the breeze with another human being is invigorating. Because everyone is someone. They too have a story to tell, whether it be big or small, and I’d like to figure out what that story is.

I have also found that time alone is nourishing for me. No kids. No obligations. No one to talk to. Just me. My husband is pretty good at giving me that alone time when he can. If he can’t, I find other ways whether it be walking to the mailbox alone or sending the kids outside.  I need to be rejuvenated somehow so that I can simply face the day ahead.

Writing nourishes my soul. Writing helps me discover what is actually in my soul. It feels great to be able to get whatever it is out and to have it make sense. Or to knock me into sense! Sometimes I let things fester and they get so skewed and whacky that when I write those things down, it all doesn’t seem such a big deal after all.

I receive nourishment from above as well. In fact, above all I receive nourishment from my Father in Heaven. I can’t always recognize the help I receive, but I know it’s there. I know my Heavenly Father is mindful of me and my situation. And those days when I feel alone, I know I never truly am.

M&M’s….peanut M&M’s. They unfortunately nourish me too. 

Annie Stays in the Hospital

If one person gets sick, it's only a matter of time before it spreads to the rest of us. In this case, Lucy had gotten sick - fever, cough, cold, tummy ache - and after a few days, I took her in to the doc. She just basically needed to ride the wave until it was over. The doctor even warned that the other two kids will probably follow suit. So that night when Annie came down with the same symptoms, I did my best to treat them. But days went by and she didn't get any better and was actually getting worse. It was the weekend and I kept telling myself that come Monday I was going to take her in.

Sunday night was the worst. She could hardly breathe. She was floppy. She wouldn't eat or drink and she barely got a wink of shut-eye. I called the doctor's office first thing Monday, but she couldn't get in until late afternoon. I couldn't wait that long...I just knew she needed to get in right away! I took her tot he ER where they instantly started her on breathing treatments and ran several tests. They took some X-rays and before we knew it we were heading up to the fifth floor to stay the night.

My heart broke when the doctor told me they were going to admit her. I knew she would be perfectly okay and that she just needed proper treatment. I knew that we wouldn't be there long. But my heart still broke at the thought that my daughter was just so ill. My mind instantly thought about my family who have gone through much more difficult and extremely painful situations involving their children. Oh how my heart ached for them. Here I was experiencing the tiniest sliver of what they felt - the reality of having my child admitted to the hospital, and a feeling of helplessness and uncertainty. And even though Annie's condition wasn't all that serious, it was still serious enough to be admitted to the hospital. No matter the case, as a mother you only want the best for your children and that includes their health. I wanted Annie to be back to her normal happy, giggly self. I was anxious to get her started with the proper care and treatment, praying we wouldn't be there long. After a few pokes, she got her IV and was on her way to getting better. 

(She had RSV, pneumonia, a double ear infection, and was extremely dehydrated)

We have such wonderful friends who took Lucy and Todd for us overnight without a second thought so that I could stay with Anna and so that Alex could continue studying for a huge test coming up in a few days. Such life savers! The next day, my parents hopped in the car and drove the 7 hours to come to our aid. We are so extremely grateful to them as well for all of their help. My mom even stayed that second night in the hospital with Anna so that I could go home and get some sleep! And we are so appreciative of everyone thinking about her and praying for her. There truly is strength in numbers as we exercise our faith. 

I feel like i just gave an acceptance speech at the Oscars. But we are ever so grateful! 

Thank you! Thank you!

Day 11 - Watch

I watch very few television shows. When I finally do have a second to watch something, it is usually that week’s episode of Downton Abbey or Once Upon a Time. I look forward each night (if I don’t fall asleep by then) to watching The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon with my Love. We love laughing together while we are snuggled in bed, eating popcorn, and watching it on Alex’s iPad with our big cups of ice water handy.

I watch Todd build and create with his toys. I can’t help but see some of my brother’s impressive Lego skills manifest themselves through Todd’s Duplo creations. I love watching his little creative mind at work.

I watch the mailman drive past with a letter I’ve sealed and stamped. I anticipate it’s arrival.

I watch Lucy read and discover a whole new world of words. I love, love, LOVE receiving little letters from her (they’re my favorite!) She impresses me daily with her ability to absorb so much information around her. She makes sure to share that information as well.

I watch others. I watch the way they express gratitude, the way they handle stress, the way they parent their children, the way they speak. I watch and I learn.

I watch Annie explore food and dump it over the edge of her highchair. She’s pretty picky with what I put in front of her. Though for some odd reason, if that same food is on the floor, it is so much more appealing. 

I watch my kids fight and power struggle with each other. Sometimes I step in, sometimes I just watch.

I watch Alex leave for school each day, his backpack hanging heavy on his shoulders.

I watch my mother struggle with health issues and my heart aches for her. How I wish I could alleviate some of her pain! Maybe if I send more pictures of my kids, that would help :)

I watch my children through the kitchen window as they play together in the back yard. Lucy in her swimsuit just because she felt like it, Todd burying his toys in the dirt and excavating them, and Anna dirtying up her clean outfit as she crawls through the yard, trying to taste things along her way. My heart just bursts!

I watch myself learn and grow as I navigate my way through this young stage of motherhood, wondering some days if what I’m doing and how I’m teaching my kids is even working. Then I get a special letter from Lucy and I don’t wonder so much anymore. 

iLovin

Day 10 - Evening

Many nights I am on my own putting all three kids to bed because Alex is still on campus. When that’s the case, I almost always put on a short 30 min show for the older two while I put Anna down. I’ve tried so many times not to resort to the television, but when I don’t, they almost always barge into Annie’s room and wake her up, or they dirty up their newly cleaned room. My nerves just can’t handle it sometimes!

And why is it that almost every night when the lights are off, and I’m singing songs trying to get them to settle down, Lucy decides that now would be the perfect time to “exercise”?! Her version of exercise includes slamming her legs down on her bed, twisted somersaults, flapping her arms, and kicking the wall. And the best part is that since she is on the top bunk, whatever she does is extremely loud for Todd who’s down below and he usually joins in on the aerobics. It drives me nuts because once she starts up, Todd starts up, which in turn I start up with the scolding and threats. I beg her to stop but she insists that she needs to exercise and to be healthy. I can’t argue with that, but I try to explain to her that there is a time and place for exercise. No use.

I’m sure I’m doing a whole bunch of things wrong while trying to get them to bed. I used to think I had the whole routine down when it was only Lucy. She was a piece of cake to get down compared to now trying to do all three. But that’s ok, I guess. I’m learning and I’m hoping that as the kids get older and a little more mature, the evenings won’t be such an ordeal. I’m trying to at least set in place the routine now so that things will go more smoothly down the road. Crossing fingers. 

Day 9 - Purchase

I look forward to the day when we are out of school and can actually start earning money. (The light at the end of the tunnel is verrry faint!) Right now, we are living off of school loans. I sometimes make a little money here and there doing photo shoots, but for the most part, our debt balance gets higher and higher as the days go on. We try not to stress about it, because it’s really our only option at this point in our lives. Instead, we try to live frugally the best that we can. We take out a certain amount of money in cash each week and try to live within those few bills. It’s been working great for us! It has really helped us decipher between needs vs. wants and we are always sure that we leave enough money for a date at the end of the week (we wouldn’t survive without it!) In fact, our kids are as pleased as punch to have us leave them with a babysitter. I mean, just today Todd was crying for whatever reason, then all of a sudden he starts crying because he wanted a babysitter to come over! I get it, I get it…they are probably a lot nicer and give you all the juice you want!

Though being students can be rough at times (especially with three young children), I’m really enjoying this stage of our lives. We are learning and growing together as a family in ways I never imagined and I am basically forced to be creative with what I do have. Old cereal boxes are used for storing art supplies and coloring books, and pages out of old books and random buttons are used for holiday decorations.

I love it. We truly have a wonderful life. 

Day 8 - Transportation

Gray Nissan Maxima – This is the car in which I: learned to drive, drove to seminary, commuted to/from work at Disneyland, took to college, drove away from our wedding reception, and carted around my first baby. Its last adventure was in San Francisco. We had taken a trip up there and it DIED. Straight up died on us. Sad, sad day. It’s said that some people leave their heart in San Francisco….we left our car.

White Acura Integra – My aunt LaDell had taken me out in this car to teach me how to drive stick shift. We went to a crowded parking lot (of all places!) by the Chili’s. When I finally got the hang of it, she challenged me to go to the shopping center across the street. I was extremely hesitant because it required me to go up a hill where there was a stop sign at the very top. I made it to the top of the hill and stopped, but now I had to go again. I was at an incline and if you have driven a stick shift you know the predicament I was in (my heart is currently pounding as I write this, the memory itself is causing me stress!). I was freaking out! There was NO WAY I could make it. I was sure I was going to roll into the person behind me, who left me little room thank you very much! The volume of our voices got louder as we argued back and forth if I could do it or not. I had given up, protesting “I can’t do it! I can’t do it!” while my aunt was saying the opposite – “Just step on the gas, release the clutch and GO!” And with that, I made it up the hill without a scratch or dent in someone else’s vehicle. PHEW!

I felt pretty darn cool driving in that car, which was short-lived since the car died in an accident (not by me!!)

Blue-ish Toyota Tercel – Aahh, the Tercy. Otherwise known as Blanch. This is one of three cars I associate my husband with from high school. I’d like to think that I taught Hannah how to drive stick in this car (because you know I was such a pro) but I’m sure she learned from someone with a little more experience. :)

I’m amazed at how long that car survived. It not only traveled between CA/UT many times, but it came with us to Kansas City and even to Arizona. That car was running on fumes…literally. Every time I’d drive it, I’d look in the rear view mirror and apologize to the person driving behind me because I knew they were getting fumigated. The car was on its last leg. What should have only been an hour and a half drive to Mesa, took us nearly 4 HOURS! It was our only car at the time and we had to take the frontage road most of the time because otherwise we probably would have been crushed by some other car going twenty times as fast. But we still just putt-putted along, talking and listening to music. Ha! Good times. I hope Blanch’s new owner can find as much simple joy in it as we did.

Red Chrysler – Homecoming had just ended. I was Alex’s date. We were walking out to the car, his arm around my shoulders keeping me warm. We stopped on the passenger side, hugged, and kissed for the first time. A simple, sweet kiss. Cloud Nine!

This car was also a fun drive-to-the-beach-with-your-best-friend car. We thought we were so cool. :)

15 passenger van – This was THE van! The big, brown Beatrice. You knew Alex was almost to school because you could see this car from a mile away, waiting to turn in. He’d pull into the parking lot and we’d all pile in, listening to Jimmy Eat World and Dashboard, hanging out before the first bell of the day rang. Best memory of this car was when Alex had turned it into a fancy-shmancy car for the Prom (oh my gosh! I love my husband!) It was complete with lights streamed on the inside, a fuzzy bear rug, window paint, large speakers, a love seat (as in an ACTUAL love seat), a cooler of soda, and a tub of Red Vines. This is how us Mormon kids rode in style! Even though Alex and I weren’t each other’s date that night, this is still a fun memory we have together.

Green Honda Civic – We bought this car from Alex’s sister, Allison, after the Maxima died. This car eventually got the name “Bobisa” simply because that is what the license plate spelled with its letters and numbers. We love this car and it is currently Alex’s car as he drives the 15 miles to school each morning. We had a BYU magnet on it for years while we lived in Provo and KC. About a month after moving to Arizona, it got stolen. Go figure.

Black Toyota Sienna – I honestly didn’t think we’d be at a minivan status for a couple more years. But how grateful I am for the extra room! Lucy and Todd sit in the far back and Annie sits right behind me for easy access to hand toys and snacks to. My aim has gotten far better over this last year as I have had to throw things to the kids in the back seat. 

Oh, you want a cracker? A book? Catch!

I am constantly yelling at Todd to sit down because that little weasel can wiggle his way out of his car seat! My mom calls it Karma because I guess I used to always do the same.