From the Kids

I told my mom over the phone that she should expect more hokey gifts from the kids/me for the next forever.  

You could put little hand and footprints on anything and the grandparents love it... right?! 

In other news, my mother's day was wonderful! Alex was Mr. Mom for the day... I got to stay in bed and read, he made me some egg mcmuffins for breakfast, he took care of the kids all during church (he even took over my calling for the day and did sharing time in Primary while I went to Relief Society!), I got to take a nap, and he made me a wonderful dinner. I was pretty spoiled.
Mother's Day... Can't you come more often?!

What Motherhood Has Taught Me So Far

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms and soon-to-be moms! 

Just Not Worth It

A couple of days ago, I started off my day great. I woke up at 6:15 (not by choice, mind you) and read my scriptures. After breakfast and whatnot, I put on a yoga video that I rented from the library. I've only tried yoga probably twice in my life, so I thought I'd give it another try. (It was great, relaxing, and I can see why people love it... but it's just not for me). I couldn't help but think while doing the Down Dog how I never exercise and I should maybe try it out. After all, we have a community center nearby with a day care where I could drop the kids off and go exercise for a bit. I'm pretty proud of myself that I actually got the kids loaded up and went! Very much out of the norm for me to go exercise. Probably the best part of going to the gym was dropping off my kids for an hour and running while watching the news with no distractions. Is that bad? (I'm gonna say no, because believe me... after picking them up I had to work through some guilt issues for doing that.)
We got home and it was nap time... my favorite time of day! It's always a mission of mine to get the kids to take naps at the same time so I can get a little shut eye myself. I love naps... and I mean LOVE them! And today I was going to take one! My legs felt like noodles and I was going to crash. But of course, Lucy just refused to take a nap. I did everything in my power to get her to sleep. I even put on Winnie the Pooh hoping that she would at least just relax, giving me a good 30 min nap. But no... oh no. She couldn't resist poking at my face or hopping around on the bed. I was half asleep and getting so angry at her. I hated it! And I didn't understand how could I feel so guilty for taking time for myself in going to the gym, yet here I was so angry that I wasn't getting the nap that I wanted. I realized that this has been a pattern of mine. When I make getting a nap so important, and things don't work the way that they were perfectly planned, I turn into some mean, nasty woman. It's not fair to Lucy and Todd. It's not fair that I get a little resentful towards them, all because I didn't get my dumb nap. It's just not worth it.
So yesterday, even though I was once again up at the crack of dawn, I decided to forget the nap all together. I was a walking zombie by the time 6 rolled around, but what a difference it made in my attitude towards my kids for the rest of the day.
Sure enough Lucy didn't take a nap that day, so we all went to bed really early. Thank goodness!

Today

I was woken up by Todd this morning around 6:45. I got him back to sleep, tucked him in and headed back to my bed. But as tired as I was, I couldn't help but notice the silence, accompanied by the chorus of birds greeting another beautiful day. I had a choice to make... do I go hop back in bed and try to get some more sleep (probably only an extra 45 min), or do I stay awake and enjoy this solitude, which is very rare. I always take the sleep option when given the choice. But this morning, I chose option B.
I put on some clothes and plopped on the couch, laying with my head on the arm rest and facing the floor to ceiling window. What do I do now? I'm up with no one to feed, no diapers to change, no one to entertain. I'm just laying on the couch, ankles crossed, and I'm watching the partly cloudy, pastel sky grow more bright each second as the sun is slowly rising. I'm doing nothing and I don't have to do anything! (this is great!) It's just me and my thoughts and the two red cardinals outside, bouncing from branch to branch, most likely hunting for their morning meal.
Just me and my thoughts, huh? What do I do with all of these thoughts? I'm not very good at channeling my thoughts. They are usually quite scattered and are often reflective. As great as reflecting can be most times, I tend to relive some of those thoughts and experiences... that's quite a difference.
It's a new day. A clean slate. A blank canvas.
Several days ago, I had another emotionally dumpy day. Yesterday was amazing, fun, happy, and silly. But today... hmmm..... what will today bring for me?


I think today will be a good day.