{mid-week musings} This Close!!

There I was, intently listening in church with Lucy coloring by my side. Alex was quarantined at home with the other two sick kids. It was a peaceful hour in which I felt uplifted and could actually listen rather than throwing toys, crayons, and Cheerios at the faces of my kids to keep them quiet. About half way through the meeting, I get this text (Alex is grey, I’m blue):

You see, we were this close to naming Anna “Winnie”… thiiiiiis close! Oh! I love that name! What started out as a “we-could-never-name-our-kid-that” name, slowly turned into a possibility when we found out we were having a girl. Not only does it sound beautiful, but it means “holy peacemaking gently friend”.

Just beautiful.

We struggled and struggled for months to find a name for Annie. She must have tried on at least ten different names for several weeks at time, but none of them stuck. Alex would love one name, but I wasn't sure. Then I would like a different name that he somewhat detested.

I am a huge nerd when it comes to names. Alex has had to put up with me show after movie after show, reading through the credits and looking for interesting name combinations. I've been on the internet countless times looking up the meaning to a name. I read wacky articles about names. You know those “Top 100 Names” lists that go back for decades? Yea, I've gallivanted through those as well.

What can I say, names fascinate me. I am a huge believer  that babies are meant to have a certain name on this earth. When naming each of our kids, it’s like I would wait for that bam! lightning moment of knowing that this was our child’s name. With Lucy, it happened before I knew she was even a girl. With Todd, it happened around 34ish weeks. With Anna, it just wasn't happening. We had prayed to find the right name (I begged!) because this is so important to me and for my child’s entire life! At 37 weeks along, we had decided that her name was Winnie. We both loved it. But of course I was still hesitant. Not only because when we tried her name out on about a dozen people and getting reactions such as, “Oh, like Winnie the Pooh?” or “Oh! Like Winnie from the Wonder Years!”, but also because I just wasn't sure!

But, you know... I was okay with that.
I guess I didn't always have to have that this is it! type of discovery.

So, we moved forward with Winnie. And we were anxious to put a face with a name! But I still looked around at other names. One night, when we started to really doubt our naming choice, we sat down at the kitchen table, pulled out a book called “Heroines of the Restoration”, opened the index, and just started writing down names we liked. We knew we couldn’t go wrong with one of these beautiful, old fashioned names. Names such as Elizabeth, Sarah, Mary, Rachel, and Rebecca.

I went to bed, feeling defeated. Was I ever going to get this right?!

Early the next morning (like 4:30am… darn that pregnancy insomnia!), I sat down at the table and studied the list. I wrote out different first and middle name combinations, then crossed them out. 

I came to the name Anna and started doing the same. Anna Jo. Anna Paula. Anna Mae. Anna Dell. Anna Dell!! Ooohh! My heart was immediately full and my whole body was overcome with emotion. It was as the first time I felt I really knew my child and could truly feel her special spirit. It was like she was telling me that that was her name. The connection I now had with her was stronger than ever before. 

I couldn't wait to tell Alex! Of course he was nice about it because he didn't want to crush me. I basically told him nicely, but matter-of-factly, “I don’t care what you think. This is her name! I know it! And I LOVE it!”

And the loving, supporting husband that he is, he agreed.

We've contemplated even just calling Anna “Winnie” over the last few weeks. But no. No, no, no. Not if you would ask me a million times would I ever change her name. Because she is Anna. My dear sweet Annie. And her name fits her perfectly.

But there is something about the name Winnie that strikes my fancy. Perhaps there is a Winnie waiting to come to our family, maybe not. Whatever the case, Winnie has unexpectedly stolen my heart.